mccnofstars

this is a pretty late upload, my bad. I’ve been sick since New Year’s Day lmfao.

let’s see what all I remember bc sheesh the year was rough

•Started the year off with COVID. Like literally the first day of 2022 is when I started showing symptoms. It fucking sucked.

•Also started the year off with relationship issues woohoo /s

•Started my second semester of college, which went way better than the first one holy shit

•Spent my Valentine’s Day and Easter alone for the first time ever, which was morbidly depressing. Moving out isn’t that fun when you’re a very family oriented person, and it’s not like I had anyone to spend time with lol

•Randomly picked up my Pokémon GO addiction, I have no idea why. I was very lonely and it was just there lmfaoo 💀

•Spent way more money than I EVER wanted to on birthdays and holidays and needless to say that is changing this year jfc I hardly have money for college now

•I went to a friend’s wedding in May :’ ) it was super cute and honestly so fun

•Starting having a lot of medical issues again — obviously not a fun time

•My partner at the time came to visit for a little and (even tho the trip was cut short), we got to go to Medieval Times, a Renaissance faire (which I fully intend to go back to) and then Chattanooga before staying home for a few days after that. And then a couple of our friends had been at the faire and Chattanooga with us.

•My great grandmother died so that was not fun at all

•A YouTuber I used to watch passed away from cancer during the month of June. It was a pretty big shock that I just wasn’t anticipating at all.

•Said YouTuber’s death was announced on my partner and I’s anniversary bc ig that was just our luck, and they also knew the YouTuber so the news made them not really wanna celebrate the anniversary anymore and therefore the anniversary just got shitty for both of us but ayo four years I guess lmfaoooo — we celebrated during the first half of the day.

•One of my cats and one of my dogs passed from what we believe was cancer, the cat in August and the dog in October. Both were very sudden and unexpected, and both days were really shitty for me. To this day I’m still pretty bothered by it.

•yeah in case I didn’t hint at it hard enough, my partner and I broke up lol- simply just conflict of interests at the end of the day but also just an obvious loss of feelings on one end and I think we 100% should’ve cut it off sooner really but HEYY we can’t undo the past and what’s done is done so it doesn’t matter — and we’re still civil with each other so eh doesn’t matter lol

•I transferred to a different college for the time being, and have been doing better than I was at my other university since I’m not as worried about roommates and I’m not getting as distracted as I was — ended up getting a 4.0 in my last semester so woohooooo

•adopted 3 cats, one of which is ours (mostly mine lol) and the other two being kittens that my nana adopted. my cat is a Siamese named Saki, and she’s very sweet but holy shit she’s riddled with anxiety. and then my nanas cats are a tortoiseshell cat and a white American short hair. so the animal family grows lol

•batman was a great fucking movie don’t touch me

•celebrated the unus annus anniversary alone this year and man that made it way worse /hj

•had a horrible relapse and splitting episode that lasted months but I’m doing better now I think

•finals. god I hate finals.

•had my 19th birthday and went around finding birthday freebies bc I’m a damn glutton and a cheapskate all at once and I want free food

•got a better grasp on the art style I want, but none of my posts are getting much traction anymore so it’s been pretty discouraging.

•I took a lot of distance from social media and messaging apps, as well as put my phone on do not disturb so I’m not as distracted by messages. It’s honestly been great. I have way more time in my day, I’m not as overwhelmed by phone related things and I’m more focused and able to do the things I actually need to do. And my mental health has really just benefited from it all.

•started thinking of ways I want to improve for myself in 2023

•rekindled my obsession with bad omens as a result of my breakup, especially with their new album which is the most specifically targeted to my feelings about said breakup, especially with songs like just pretend and somebody else holy shit 🥲💔 (and yes I am VERY depressed that I couldn’t go to the concert lmfao.)

•discovered dayseeker and have been OBSESSED with their music

•admittedly had my love for D&D pretty crushed, which I’m hoping changes but rn it’s just not a good vibe for me anymore

•also had my will go do art and sing crushed for a while — i think it’s getting better but eh

•had lots of family over for holidays like thanksgiving and Christmas and even the couple days before New Year’s Eve

•started up some kind of collecting habit which is gonna bite me in the ass when it comes to money I’m sure

•my tea addiction is back.

pretty depressing year obviously, but I’m hoping this one can be better. happy new years y’all. here’s to 2023.

💛 I got to see a global pandemic happen. That sure was something.

💛 I only self harmed once or twice this year -- that's a huge accomplishment for me considering how bad I used to be haha.

💛 I got my license!!!

💛 I ended up writing my partner and best friends letters for Valentine's Day, and while I'm a horribly cringy writer, I enjoyed doing it and I'm glad I got to get feelings out on paper : )

💛 I became a senior!!!

💛 I got accepted into my two dream schools, SCAD and Kennesaw State! I may have to go to a different college for the first couple years simply due to costs, but I'm glad I'll likely be going to at least one!

💛 School ended up going all digital for a while and it was super weird adjusting. I definitely preferred it more when it first started than how it is now lmfaoo. But I enjoyed being able to do things on my own time in the beginning.

💛 I got into a lot of cool fandoms, the biggest being Dream SMP and Unus Annus.

💛 Unus Annus happened. Wow, it was a crazy ass ride. I miss it so much. It did so much for me and just really changed my perspective on life and living in the moment. < 3

💛 Soul also did that for me, it made me open my eyes to how I should live my life as it is now and appreciate what I have at this exact moment. I've had a bit of an awakening this year, I suppose.

💛 I started working out around May of this year. I broke my habit in July unfortunately (we went to Florida and it broke my streak so I've been too lazy to start up again), but I plan to start up again this coming Monday. However, I've also been dieting and I've kept up on that! I lost around 8 pounds this year and I was super cool! I gained a little towards the end (holidays will do that lol) but I'll work on fixing that!

💛 I ended up participating in a Webtoon short story contest with my partner! They did the writing and I did the art! It was called One Red String Of Many, and even though we didn't win, it was one HELL of an experience and I'd 10/10 be willing to do it again (just without the time constraint pls--)

💛 Connor and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary woooOOOOOO

💛 I started a group discord with my friends, as well as a personal server for people who want to support me and what I do : )

💛 I realized a lot of people in my life don't treat me as well as they should, and that I should call them out for that and know my worth a little better. This year, I'm refusing to let people treat me with disrespect.

💛 I went to Panama City Beach! It was fun, I like being back in my home state, and it finally fed the travel junkie in me lmfao.

💛 I started taking my first two AP classes, so that's cool!

💛 I got a massive sense of self confidence and self worth back. I started realizing where I'm getting less than what I deserve and whether I deserve more credit than I give myself. Slowly but surely, I'm learning a little confidence and self care is never a bad thing, and I'm becoming more confident in who I am and how I look.

💛 I started doing a lot of self reflection about how I act and who I am as a person. I started thinking a lot about how I want to better myself and how I can improve as a person and be more like the person I always wanted to be but was always too uncomfortable to try. I want to be a nicer, more caring and understanding and open-minded person, so I'm going to make a list of ways to do that. I'm starting that list of things tomorrow.

💛 I lost a lot of people in my life, or had people drift away more specifically, and I've learned to be okay with being alone. COVID really helped me realize that I really don't need anyone other than myself to be truly happy.

💛 COVID got me to use makeup. That was super weird. Only occasionally though, for like special occasions lmfaooo.

💛 I turned 17! One year away from adulthood bro. : D

💛 I spent a LOT of money holy fuck--

💛 Probably the most depressing part of the year is that I've been very conflicted with my partner and friends, there's a lot of days where it feels like we're just constantly at war and we feel very distant. There's a lot of things I feel they're doing wrong, and I'm sure there's a lot that I feel they think I'm doing wrong as well. I reeeeally don't like having conflict between any of them and would like to have a talk with them in order to work on that this year so long as they're willing to do such (since obviously, improvement in relationships is a two-way street lmao). I want my relationships with them to feel as healthy as they used to be, and I feel like this year, something went a little wrong on both our ends it seems. : (

💛 Trump is out of office and Biden's our new president lmfao so that's news.

💛 I started really wanting to stream, and also get back into instruments and writing music so that's hella cool : O

💛 I started a DND campaign with my friends and also a MC server. It's super cool, I love it : D

💛 We went to Olive Garden for New Years Eve today : ) the night went a little wonky later on, but I did enjoy the food lmfao

💛 Finals were, like always, fuckin exhausting

💛 I did a secret santa with my friends, lol

💛 I kinda started wanting to write again? Something about the Webtoon contest struck something in me and I've been wanting to start writing again for a while...

💛 I've started considering doing wedding planning as a career until I can do something with art, or, hell, even make it my full time career if the art thing goes south or I simply decide I like wedding planning better. I'm making a lot of changes in my life this year lol--

💛 Like they do every year, all my loved ones continued to be gorgeous, gorgeous people inside and out and I'm so happy to have had them along with me for this year. I'm hoping that they all stick with me for many years to come, and we all work on growing and improving each other for the better. I love yall! < 3